Monday, 30 April 2012

Life Balance

I normally centre align my blog posts, but because this entry includes a list I have decided to right align it today! 

About 6 months ago my sister told me about the work of Chalene Johnson, who has become one of my heroes. Isn't she beautiful?!

She recently sent out an email about life balance. I like to think my life is fairly well balanced, and that I blog about a good mixture of subjects ranging from activities with my family right through to work. 

Chalene advises that balancing the following important areas of your life will help to achieve inner peace and satisfaction;  

1.) Environment and your every-day surroundings
2.) Time spent doing fun and leisure activities
3.) Time spent doing activities that result in personal growth
4.) Spirituality and faith
5.) Your career and fulfilling your purpose or calling
6.) Financial situation
7.) Relationships with friends and family
8.) Romantic relationship(s)
9.) Health and fitness
10.) Emotional health 

By identifying which of the important areas of life you are not satisfied with, you can start to take action to work towards improving that area of your life to achieve balance. 

I have decided to lay myself (almost) bare on short public a journey of soul searching and evaluate how I feel about those areas of life!   

 Environment and your every-day surroundings

The climate here in the UK is not so desirable and sometimes I think the Americans are a bit lucky because if it's too cold where they live, they can move without the complications of becoming an ex pat!  

I like the house that I live in and I love the garden. In dream land I would knock the wall down between the toilet and the bathroom so that we could have a bath, we only have a shower and I do like the odd soak! I would also split the lounge diner so that we have a more cosy lounge and open up the dining area into the kitchen so we have a nice, sociable kitchen diner. I would even give it an American 50's diner theme like something out of Grease! There would be french doors leading to the garden and a lean-to at the side, linking the house to the shed.

In super dream land we would buy a farm to operate the business from and of course live on.

In super duper dream land we would live somewhere warmer and all the family would be there too!  

The bottom line is that the house is comfortable and it makes me happy, so those dreams are exactly what they are, dreams. They are not important. 

What is important is having a tidy home! Disorganisation in the home means disorganisation in life, so time spent targeting this area of life needs to be time spent on sorting things out and making sure things are where they belong. My office definitely could do with a bit of TLC time, I have an awful lot of filing to do!       

Time spent doing fun and leisure activities

I'm very lucky. I gave up commuting to London to run a local landscaping business with my husband. This enables me a lot of flexibility and more time with my family. We might have to work the odd late night when we have a deadline for a tender we really want to win, but otherwise I get to do things like taking little girl out swimming during the week instead of the weekend when it's less busy and stressful, I can then catch up if I need to after putting little girl to bed, but by trying to be effective with my time management I don't often need to do this.  

I'm pretty disciplined with the business and avoid working at the weekends, this is family and fun time!  

I also like being able to pop into the garden to tend to my plants at lunch time!  

We definitely take enough holidays - with family spread across England & Scotland we have to keep taking mini-breaks to visit people. Sometimes it gets a bit tiring and we need time off to recover from time off! 
Time spent doing activities that result in personal growth

This is an area where I need to be more disciplined, because I would be a lot more advanced with my nutrition course if I was! Sometimes I feel trapped by being the business and working from home, and this course is my outlet for that.

Spirituality and faith

I do not have any formal faith, so I do not attend anything like church. If anything I believe in the beauty of the world, that everything is connected and that we need to live life conscious of what we are doing and how it affects others including other animals. I believe we need to be more grateful for what we have got and less materialistic but even I struggle to live by my own principles. I often find myself being wasteful or ungrateful. I think it's important to escape urban life every so often to get closer to nature and reconnect with where we came from. I doesn't cost a penny to go for a walk.

I believe that when we die our bodies nourish the ground which in turn will nourish other beings, eventually working right the way up the food chain, so we become part of everything.  The circle of life.

So right now we are consuming everything that has been before us and eventually we will replenish some of it. This is why I don't want to be cremated.  
Your career and fulfilling your purpose or calling

This is a tough one because I'm still not really sure what is my purpose or calling. When I had little girl I felt whole and my love for her is so strong, but to make her my purpose in life would be wrong. She might be my little girl, but her life is not mine, I gave her life. She is my responsibility and I must guide her. That is my purpose for now, but it will not be my purpose for ever. I don't want to hit middle age, have the kids move out and then not know what to do with my life, or worse still meddle in theirs continuously because I don't know what to do with my own! 

I have recently started a nutrition course because I really need to learn how to nourish my family properly and I've love to eventually use what I learn to help others. I don't think I'll know if it's my calling until I get there though. If it was my calling, surely I'd make more study time because I'm so passionate about it? Instead I'm usually so knackered by the time I've put little girl to bed and have some time to myself that I lack discipline and flump in front of the television with my husband which is bad. When I do study, it is often because he's found something to watch while I've been putting little girl to bed that I can't get into because I've missed the beginning, or I find it less interesting than studying. 

Financial situation

Same as most people, I guess - it could be better, but we get by! I think everyone wants more, but the most important things our life are catered for so anything extra is a materialistic bonus really. I'd like to pay off my student loan, but the interest rate is so minimal it's not worth worrying about!  

Relationships with friends and family

Every weekend we see some of our family which I love, my sister and I get together most weekends and we visit my husbands parents a lot as they live in the same town. Since having little girl, I've got out and met a lot of other mums in and around Brentwood which has been great. Since having little girl I have felt more like I belong here in Brentwood. Before I simply felt like a commuter living on the outskirts.

Romantic relationship(s)

Starting the business has been tough and it's weird that my husband is now my business partner. I've had to remind him on many occasions such as on a recent meal out that we are not in the office and long car journeys are now more like boardroom meetings, as is dinner time. I don't think it's such a problem at the moment, the business is new and needs a lot of work to survive and it's great that we have a shared common passion and the same working goals.   

My Husband and I also share a passion for the outdoors and enjoy hiking and cycling together which we always make time to do in the summer months - during the winter months he is busy pursuing Pike, which suits me because it offers me the freedom to pursue my own interests too which provides a good balance.

Health and fitness

In Summer 2009 I was at my peak fitness-wise. We were living in Walthamstow and I was commuting to and from Chalk Farm every week day by bike, so I was cycling approximately 24 kilometres per day. I weighed 50kg (which isn't as light as it sounds because I'm under 5ft). I probably wasn't very healthy inside because I wasn't eating enough and definitely wasn't getting enough nutrients. As a result I have shattered my metabolism and I still haven't shifted the weight I gained during pregnancy after 16 months! At 61kg I am now working on turning this around.    

Emotional health 

I'm definitely happier now than I have been in the last year. I wanted so badly to be a model Mum and I cared a lot about what others thought about my mothering. Now I don't care what other people think, I know my little girl better than anyone and I know what's right for her. Realising this was a huge weight off my shoulders. Another thing that helped was realising that everyone mothers differently so there will always be people who disagree with me. 

Another thing that has affected me adversely is the business. With an irregular income, commitments are hard to make and I found it hard to commit to the childcare levels that I needed. I was trying to run a business just two days per week and dealing with the stress from my husband who had to pick up the rest of the days plus his own demands. I now have three days childcare plus a lot of help from family which has made things easier. I miss not seeing little girl so much but I truly believe she has a better day when she's not with me during the week, with me she's stuck in the house entertaining herself when I have to respond to phone calls. When she's with the childminder she plays with other children and goes out places. We make up for it on the weekends and the few week days that we are together. Most Mondays we have fun such as swimming. There are the odd weeks where we're so busy we can't do Monday at all, other weeks we get all of Monday off :-) 

A final issue affecting my emotional health is my weight. It makes me self-conscious and I miss how confident I was when I was thin. I'm enjoying working towards combating it and look forward to getting my confidence back. 

So, from all this I've identified that I now need some SMART goals to help me to: 

1) Build up the business so that it can run with less input from me, this will free up more time for me to spend with my family  and pursue interests which are closer to my heart such as gardening, studying nutrition and helping others,

2) Devote more discipline to my nutrition course, and

3) Keep working on improving my health & fitness. My nutrition course will help with this tremendously. 

Now, isn't that time well spent? Use the comments below to let me know what your goals are! 

Friday, 27 April 2012

Nasty Neighbours :-(

A few weeks ago I was shocked to hear from my husband that there was a hole in the fence at the back of the garden, and dog poo on our lawn. The shock very quickly turned to fury as I stormed out into the garden to see it for myself. My husband had already fixed the hole in the fence but on our lawn was not one, but five piles of poo - FIVE! I was livid - what if little girl had found it before we did?! I counted how many houses down they were and my husband had to restrain me from going round there to shout at them like some sort of mouthy chav! I instantly phoned the police and can you believe it, there's nothing they can do unless the fence belongs to us, and then all you can do it claim criminal damage! All sorts of angry, petty things went through my mind such as "if it's not illegal then I'll empty little girls' nappies over then fence and see how they like it!"

My husband had to restrain me from going round there to shout at them like some sort of mouthy chav!

Later that day I saw my next door neighbor and I asked her if she's had any problems as she too has a boundary with the same property. She said that she had problems with it all last summer, they've practically damaged her fence and and they ignored two letters she put through their door. What a cheek!

Yesterday my neighbor said the dog had strayed into her garden again and had almost caused an accident, so she had reported it as a stray to the RSPCA and asked me to back up her claim. I thought it was a good idea because the owners clearly can't be bothered to look after the poor thing properly. The man at the RSPCA said that they can't do anything because if the dog has a garden (and others) to roam in then it is okay! The man told me to report it to the council - environmental health for the poo and dog warden for the straying so I did just that. The lady at the council was really sympathetic and is going to start an investigation. I really hope this will put an end to their antisocial behaviour, otherwise the man at the RSPCA said the next step is the citizens advice bureau and legal action.   

Wednesday, 25 April 2012

Inspiration for dinner

Where do you find your inspiration for dinner? Do you make a list of meals before going grocery shopping or do you improvise with what you've got? 

I usually make a list of meals and ingredients I need before I go grocery shopping and I use a selection of favorite cookery books to help me choose which ones. Even still I find it hard to choose and make sure that what I am choosing is healthy i.e. not too much red meat and plenty of fish, can you have too many pasta-based meals in  week etc. 

This week is different. We went to the store and picked up a load of foods we liked and now it's down to me and my imagination. It's harder than I thought it would be. We have got salmon, beef mince and cod left in the freezer (I buy in bulk from the chiller, then separate into portions and freeze). We have already had all three in the last week and I simply don't fancy any again just yet so I decided we should have something meat-free tonight. It seemed to take an age for me to decide what to make and eventually I came up with Frittata, Ratatouille or a simple jacket potato with something liked mixed barbequed beans. 

I like the idea of going meat-free once a week and then thought it would be a good idea to have a "meat-free Monday". I then wondered what other cool foodie day names I could come up with for the rest of the week. It actually took me the duration of my lunch to complete it and here goes: 

Meat-free Monday (i.e. Frittata, Ratatouille, Vegetable Chilli)

Traditional Tuesday (Sausage & Mash, Fish & Chips, Cottage Pie) 

Wheat (or other grain) Wednesday (Pasta, Pizza, Risotto)

Thirsty Thursday (Poor I know, but I was really struggling so this is a soup or hot pot day)

Fishy Friday (Poached Salmon, Breaded Cod, Haddock Fishcakes)

Spicy Saturday (Curry, Chilli, Fajitas)

Saucy Sunday (Pesto, Gravy, Hidden Vegetables) 

I'm not fantastic with words and I'd love to know if you can come up with some other ideas for foodie day names, I would love to hear what you come up with! It might help me to get a bit more inspired when it comes to deciding what's for dinner! Please do post comments/ideas below... 

Monday, 23 April 2012


I was surfing the spark people website whilst sipping my morning cup of coffee and I came across an article about rewarding yourself. To be honest the biggest reward of weight loss is free - the confidence and elation you get from being smaller, choosing the next size down, fitting into some old clothes. Achieving the weight loss is a reward in itself. But as I write this I get clarity in what they mean, it's a long process and reward along the way keeps you focused, or motivated! 
"long Journey" by Susanne Scheunke
 So, what do you do to reward yourselves, and when do you do it? Do you reward yourself for fitness milestones, or for weight loss ones, or both? I didn't get past week 2 of P90X, and stopped EASA2 with just a few weeks left to do. I would love to actually complete a programme! I think I should reward myself for each phase of Charlean Exteme (which I only started last week) I complete, but with part 2 of a huge VAT bill looming next month it has to be an inexpensive reward... Maybe I'll keep an eye out on groupon for a deal for a relaxing spa massage to give my muscles a treat after all the burn! And then if I complete my 14 lbs in 7 weeks challenge I will reward myself with a fake bake, after seeing how amazing your muscles look with a tan in Jodie marsh's programme I think it would be a great treat (not that I think just a stone will make me look that good, or just 7 weeks of Chalean extreme but I'll be getting there hahaha) and it will make me feel good. Oh, and it'll be safer than sunbathing to achieve the tan! Hopefully if I keep my eyes peeled I will be able to find these rewards cheaply! It seems silly to jeopardise your financial goals to reward your health & fitness goals, but I guess that's a matter of priority. At the end of the day you are spending the money you would spend anyway on something else, on making yourself more motivated towards your health goals and much more likely to be successful. With that being the case, my verdict would be that it's money well spent and I would therefore rest my case! 
  I can now treat myself for milestone successes guilt-free! After all it's not as if I'd be rewarding myself with fine jewellery or an entire new wardrobe :-)

Friday, 20 April 2012

New Challenge!

Okay, so P90X didn't work out for me because I got ill and from there I started making excuses. Next thing I know for the first time since xmas I've stopped getting up early every day to work out and I've gained a nasty bit of weight around my midriff. It's frustrating because I was doing so well. 

I need to get off of this slippery slide and rein myself back onto the straight and narrow. I have thus decided to set myself a neat little challenge to get back on focus. The challenge is: 

7 weeks to loose a stone @ 2lbs per week!

I'm going to rely on exercise and cutting out all sweet foods to curb my sugar cravings for once and for all! I must remember the taste only lasts for a little while! From this day onwards my desert will be a nice, hot drink! I know I can do it! 

Today's plan of attack was to start waking up early again and start ChaLEAN Extreme. Unfortunately I didn't manage to get up early as little girl woke a lot through the night and ended up in bed with us. I didn't allow myself to use it as an excuse and did it while she ate her breakfast. She started grizzling half way through because she'd had enough and was ready to get down from the table so I hit pause, cleaned her up and let her down. Trouble with this is that she wanted to join in and stole one of my weights to play with! So I hit pause again and gabbed some tiny weights from upstairs just for her! I enjoyed the workout, it was nice to do half the time of P90X, and focus was on the upper back, which I'd love to tone. Chalene is beautiful and so inspiring. I hope I manage to stick with this program and pack a resistance band when we go on our next holiday! 

I also plan to run tonight with the running club. I am eating 4 prunes on waking for workout energy, high protein yoghurt with honey and flax seed after working out and then protein and fibre rich foods every 3 hours thereafter, so plenty of brown bread and rice, and tuna, salmon and eggs. My nutrition course is really helping me to sort my diet out. Wish me luck everyone! I really hope I can do it this time! NO! I AM, AM, AM going to do it this time :-)

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Hiking Loch Glow & Dumglow

Having enjoyed the climb up Largo Law, I was excited to try climbing another, higher, hill. 

Whilst looking through some books about activities in Fife I came across Hamish Browns' book, 25 walks in Fife. I was interested in this book because any hills encountered within the walks were clearly labelled with their height. As a result, walks number 4 and 25 captured my attention. 

I showed them to my husband. He liked the look of them both as they both featured Lochs and thus fishing! I preferred number 25 as it featured a higher hill, but he preferred number 4 which happened to be further away from Lundin Links. This was good because it would give little girl longer opportunity to have a nap in the car along the way. We needed to set off early as there were rumours of heavy rainfall later in the day. 

We had a bit of trouble finding the car park but we got there from the opposite direct to that described in the book and we got to drive around the hills we were about to climb in advance which was exciting. 

The first part of the hike involved passing two lochs including Loch Glow. The book advised us to avoid the path as it would be very boggy, but as it was early(ish) in the year it was boggy pretty much throughout the first few miles. So much so that even my decent goretex hiking boots could no longer keep the water out. Determined to enjoy the walk I soldiered on, but just as I was actually beginning break and get really fed up with the bogginess we reached the south-west base of Dumglow and began to climb. From this point onwards the book described the rest of the walk not being boggy anymore. Hooray! 

As we climbed I noticed little girl kept pointing upwards towards the hill. It took me some time to register what she was pointing at. Sheep. Not any old sheep, sheep with horns. Over the fence. The fence we needed to climb over to continue or journey. To say I got scared is an understatement. I was faced with the choice of climbing the fence into the same field as the horned sheep or going back though the bog. Thankfully there were two fences and we could deviate or journey a little along another field running parallel. We stayed in this field for as long as we could before having to climb back into the other field to reach the summit of Dumglow. Thankfully by this time we were well passed the horned sheep. The climb was not as hard going as Largo Law as the it was steep for much less of the distance, if that makes any sense? I did get a little scared for a brief moment again though!

We stopped at the summit to admire the view and locate the Fourth bridge and Largo Law in the distance. We took some photos and ate a banana before continuing. The descent down the east face towards the forest was easy going. When the path passed the first bit of forest my husband insisted in stopping to pop his head in and it was the thickest forest I had ever seen, extremely dark and quite scary. Okay, really quite scary! 

We carried on and the path actually led us though a small stretch of forest and then along a stream where the surroundings were simply breathtaking, I can't describe. Never have I felt like I was in such complete wilderness. 

The book, or rather Hamish Brown, had lied. It was so very boggy, at one point I nearly lost my posh hiking boots as I was very nearly up to my knees in it for two steps and again I felt scared. Did my husband care? Yes - I was carrying his posh digital SLR camera! 

At that point we reached the base of our next little climb and again I was relieved to get out of the bog! The climb was not too challenging and by this point little girl, who had been amazingly well behaved, happily sitting on my husbands' shoulders began to feel a little impatient wanting to get down and stretch her legs. It wasn't the safest terrain to allow her to roam. From the peak we identified a path to cut the walk short and make our way back to Loch Glow and thus the car. 

It's good we did, because the minute we were inside the car it began to rain. We're not afraid of a little rain as we're well equipped with our waterproofs, but it proper rained. There was even lightning. I felt very lucky. What an amazing and well-timed walk. The best walk of my life so far. 

Monday, 16 April 2012

Cycling with toddler

During our stay in Fife, we visited Tentsmuir Forest for a cycle ride. It was our first cycle ride using a new baby seat attachment for little girl.

I bought the seat from eBay, a steal at just £15. I decided to do this just in case she doesn't get on with it, or if we end up only using it once or twice. That way we wouldn't have wasted as much money.

Well, so far so good! Little girl really seemed to enjoy the ride (and seemed amused to see me riding a bike). We couldn't attach the seat to my bike because it wouldn't fit, so I get to see her reaction to having a little bit of wind in her hair despite being well sheltered sitting behind her Daddy! It's a shame it wouldn't fit on my bike because it means that we can only go out when hubby can make it but I have to admit some relief, I don't think I would be as confident with it as he is, even if I won't admit it (I know he will never read this!).

Riding in Tentsmuir was lovely. We cycled along a mixture of dirt track and gravel terrain, we got sea views, a random picnic bench at which we decided to stop for a banana and a some lovely views of the Firth/sea. The length of the ride was just perfect, and there was scope to ride further and visit a nearby loch if we chose to. Hubby was begining to feel a bit saddle sore which was fair enough given the fact it was our first cycle ride in some time, and the extra weight he's carrying! So we decided to go and get some fish and chips! Searching for fish & chips in Fife is a blog post in itself, it was near impossible!

Well, after the first cycle ride I am definitely happy with the seat  but there was one rather amusing flaw which was no fault of the seat itself - there were straps you can use to secure your child's foot but little girl managed to free her feet by removing her boots and kicked Daddy in the back a few times! This was our own fault because the boots are slightly too big, so we'll be using better fitting shoes next time! What amused me was the sight of the boots still secured to the seat when I first thought they'd fallen off! 

If we continue to use the seat I will definitely be buying her a new one. There's nothing wrong with the one we've got, but if it's something we might do more regularly I think it would be safer for her to have a first hand one. It goes against my principles as I like to recycle where possible but shouldn't I put safety first? What do you think? Am I being a neurotic Mother? 

Friday, 13 April 2012

Largo Law

We spent Easter in Scotland with my Husband’s family and stayed with his Aunt and Uncle in Lundin Links.

One of my goals of the year is to go to the Lake District in September climb a mountain, so I took a great interest in the scenery when we stopped at Tebay services on the way, which has lovely panoramic windows in the seated area looking over a duck pond, which little girl loved!

The first thing I noticed when we arrived at Lundin Links was Largo Law dominating the view on the horizon. My husband suggested giving it a go as a practice for the Lake District, it didn't take any persuading and we agreed to do it the following day.

My husband insisted on bringing little girl with us on his shoulders despite warnings of it's steepness from his Aunt, so we planned to go after her nap so that she would be in good spirits. I was excited, and for once hoped that she wouldn't nap for too long! 

We packed a bag with water and snacks and when little girl woke up we made our way to the car park by the cemetery.

We walked past a farm to reach the foot of our climb, by which time I was already getting warm enough to remove my fleece and I'm pleased I did. From the very beginning the climb is steep and high. There were points where I was scared that if I leaned back I would fall and I have to admit that I really was scared! It got so steep I was on all fours towards what I thought was the peak! At that point the terrain then eased off a bit and I looked up to see a second steep leg to the top! I was a bit shocked and said to my husband that I couldn't do it, but he managed to convince me that I could!

During the "second leg" we hit a bit of rain which made things a little greasy and extra scary but we did it, we reached to top! It was windy and cold but amazing, it felt good to reach the top after a challenging ascent and of course the views were lovely, we could see the sea and other hills in the distance. We took some photographs and when the excitement of reaching the top had worn off a bit I started to feel cold. I wanted to hurry up and get out of the cold, so much so that it helped me to overcome my nervousness about the steep descent!

I did some of the descent on my bottom and my jeans were really muddy by the end of it! When we returned to the foot of the hill we sat down and gave little girl her lunch. We were passed by another family about to climb who asked us how long it took us. I took my phone out and it was 16.02 which was funny because it had been 15.02 when we passed the farm buildings on our way up, so it had taken less than an hour.

It's funny that I had felt so scared when the hill is only 290m high. I should imagine that I will find the Lake District very scary, but I still intend to try it!

When we returned to the car, I noticed the most impressive Monkey Puzzle I have ever seen in the cemetery!


Friday, 6 April 2012

My 1st 10km race & I'm fixed!

Last week was the final week of my beginners' group with the Thrift Green Trotters. We were meant to run 6miles, but some people in my group were wearing their gadgets and they recorded a distance of nearly 7! For the last 2 miles I felt really tired and slowed my pace down a little until our group leader, Keith, caught up with me and encouraged me to put a little spring in my pace. He's a really good motivator. I don't know how he does it, he's not remotely bossy like some kind of boot camp leader but gently encourages you to do your best.

We were quicker than usual to cool down after the run because that evening was the club AGM. One of your group members, Paul, had organised a gift for Keith and our other leader, Allison and I had been nominated to present it, and I also won best newcomer trophy! It was tricky to stand up to do both because I was wobbly from the run! 

The next morning I woke up feeling like a mannequin which was scary because we were due to do our first 10km race on Sunday to celebrate graduating from the beginners programme and I didn't want to miss out, so I phoned the local Osteopath practice for an appointment for a sports massage. I was lucky enough to get fitted in for 2pm and I used the opportunity to discuss a reoccurring pain I've suffered when long distance running for about 5 years now. Trevor quickly diagnosed the problem and "fixed" me with a good crack! 

I recovered in time for the race on Sunday and completed it pain-free! I got a stitch on both sides (not at the same time), had a panic attack as I had to over take a young girl on a horse, and sadly I was sick when I finished, but I did it! In approx. 1hr09mins. I was absolutely thrilled, and even more thrilled to wake up in the morning a little sore but pain free! Hooray! 


Wednesday, 4 April 2012

Eyes Wide Shut

Okay, Since starting the business I've been frequenting the local copy shop often enough to have opened up a trade account but only today I realised "damn, the young chap who works there is actually rather attractive" and I giggled mid-conversation as I realised it, like a school girl! me! Incredible! But it's harmless like a Harry from One Direction kind of thing, far too young but very, very lovely!

Even so, why on earth have I only just noticed after all this time? Have I been walking around with my eyes shut? Is it my hormones? No. It has to be the hair cut.

I'm going to show my age now, but in his Nirvana days, drummer Dave Grohl with his long floppy hair wasn't really good looking at all, but then a hair cut later the guy's a stud! 

Minus the distraction of the hair, you can notice the jawbone and the eyes stand out more. It has to be the haircut...

But before you get the clippers out lads, don't go too far! My #1 celebrity crush of all time is of course no other than Ewan McGregor and even he looks dodgy with a crew cut!

And then how do we explain the guilty-as-charged One Direction Harry crush? He has floppy hair!

Who knows...?!

It's funny how now that I'm older and married, attraction has completely moved away from being something serious to something more humorous to the extent that I can be completely open about it like I am now, as I know that nothing will come of it. I can laugh about it instead - hahaha I fancy the young boy in the shop like some old granny!